Friday, August 29, 2008
A mom's heart strings
It seems as though yesterday I found out I was pregnant with Brailey. I was so excited as I had wanted a baby for quiet some time. Feeling her move around inside of me and being so excited wondering what kind of person she would be. Would she be shy or outgoing. Silly or serious. All the things every mother wonders.
Then she was here. My life has never been the same since she was placed in my arms. There is a love that is so indescribable that a mother has for her children. Everyday for the last three years I just drink her in. I look at her and try to remember something special she does each and every day. I want so badly to remember every sweet moment. There are so many times where I just wanted time to freeze. I wante to remember every detail of that exact moment. Even with doing this the time has just gone by so fast.
Well yesterday we went to Brailey's meet the teacher. She is starting her three year old program. (I feel myself choking up writng this) While we were there there were several points that I was like "WAIT SHE CAN'T BE STARTING SCHOOL YET SHE IS STILL MY LITTLE BABY". With her little hand clung tightly to mine. She would keep looking up at me and say "Mom you are not going to leave me right? You can go to school with me."
I know that Teusday I am going to cry. I know that my heart is going to break a little. As no one has ever kept Brailey other than me and family. She has never been left in a different place with people that she hasn't known all of her life. There is like a piece of me that is so sad and the other part is so happy at the same time.
At the end of the night she was happily running around her new classroom no longer tightly tied to my side. She was eager and excited to play with all of these new things. "Wow" I thought, "She really is ready to do this". My heart broke a little, and still is.
A mom's heart strings to her children are so tightly connected. There is a bond that my children and I have that is so indescribable. A love and a desire to keep them safe and happy all of the days of their lives. They look at me and it stirs something in me.
The Bible says that "Children are a gift from the Lord". How very true that is. They are such a precious gift. I thank God for them. The miraculous miracle that they are.
All of this about to start school business made me realize in new ways how much I love my children.