I always miss my grandpa (papa) nights like tonight I miss him more than ever. I miss my grandma in ways I can't describe. My grandma passed away of cancer I can't even tell you how long ago. Sometimes it feels as though it was yesterday. I cherish the memories I have of her in my heart.
My papa lives in California in the same house that my mother was raised in....There is something about the feeling when I walk in the front door. It takes me back to when I was a little girl. It is funny how a smell will trigger memories. The way my papa's hair smells when his arms are wrapped around me saying "it is good to see you baby girl." I miss him so much. Or the way my grandma would always poke her head around the corner when she heard the front door open.
When Bryan and I were planning our wedding a lady came in the gift shop that I worked at. She was so sweet and friendly. I went to hug her and she smelled just like my grandma. I was flooded with so much emotion all at once. For a moment it felt as though I was holding my grandma all over again.
There are so many things that fight for our attention in this world. Pick out the moments that mean the most and hold on to those. Don't let those moments go by. Remember everything about those times, because when you do they are forever kept in your heart.
I remember talking with my grandma at the kitchen bar while she did crosswords. Laughing with my papa as I ate rice checks spinning around in the chair while we joked about the sports page. I remember my grandma standing by my side showing me how to cook. There are so many things I would love to tell her now. I think of how much she would love my children. I think of how proud she would be of the woman I have become.
I know this is a little bit of a sad blog. I am just really home sick. I want to see my papa....it has been a year and a half. Life is too short to let so much time go by without seeing one another.